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Steps for responding to toddler hitting or children hitting:
- Express empathy for the child who hit using words like "Uh-oh, how sad you decided to hit." Avoid acting in ways that draw the child's attention away
from his poor choice:
- Yelling at the child or showing anger.
- Giving a mini-lecture about the problems with hitting.
- Hitting the child back.
- State the consequence using words like "Time for a little bedroom time" if the consequence is a brief timeout or "You hit, you sit"
if the consequence is sitting down.
- Guide them to sitting down nearby (this will probably motivate them to quickly change their behavior in order to rejoin the fun) or have them go to their room.
- Let children decide when they are ready to return. Tell them they are welcome to come back as soon as they decide to play without hitting.
- Stay calm and avoid showing anger or disappointment. By keeping your emotions under control, children can focus on their behavior and the related consequences.
- Use this time to comfort the child who was hit.
- Welcome the child who hit back using words like "It's great to have you back!" Things to avoid:
- Warning the child: "You know if you hit again you'll be in timeout again."
- Explaining why he was in timeout.
- Scolding the child: "You should never hit. Hitting people is not nice."
- Repeat these steps if the child hits again. The child will soon learn that hitting is never acceptable and results in removal from a fun situation.
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